Just got off of a 25 minute bus ride with a huge smile on my face. What I experience literally feels like I just lived through a movie. See, a friend of mine has been helping me work on attracting different kinds of men. At a certain point about 2 years ago, I was explaining my frustration to her that I tend to go out with guys who are needy; they see a motherly figure in me and they latch on. I turn, get frustrated because I too need to feel cared for and secure. So she explained a concept that The Surrendered Single discusses, namely, "She doesn't hunt for Mr. Right–she attracts him". This seemed completely foreign to me.
This friend (may she live, be well and continue to help many women out there!) explained that my behavior was attracting a particular kind of guy. Therefore, if I modified my behavior, starting out with simple changes, I'd start to attract different men.
One of the principles she has taught me, which I have difficult implementing, is to smile. Smile at every guy you see. When you smile, people smile back, and a comfortable space is created which may, just may compel a guy to come over and start talking to me.
So, back to the bus.
As I sat on the bus, I was watching who got on. This is a habit I've developed due to being overly cautious about terrorists and bus bombings (what can I say... I live in a conflict area). A very cute guy got on the bus, we made eye contact. I was on the phone at the time, so nothing else happened.
As the bus approached my stop, I saw that this particular guy was really looking at me. We kept making eye contact, so I smiled, he smiled back and struck up a conversation. I was a bit embarrassed because we were riding in an ultra-Orthodox neighborhood where mixed- gender conversations don't occur in public. So I leaned over and said, "I'm getting off at the next stop, but you are welcome to take my number if you'd like..."
Where this courage and boldness came from, I do not know... but I hope he calls. I cannot believe what a smile can do!